Best Puns Collection (6)
《最佳双关语辑合（六）》
51）Did you hear about the man who lost his left side? He’s all right now.
52）A cartoonist was found dead. Details are sketchy. (详情不全)
53）I removed the shell from my racing snail to make it faster. It just got more sluggish.
54）Life as a professional yo-yoer （玩溜溜球的人）has its ups and downs. (上起下落)
55）I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something. (受制于人)
56）I used to hate facial hair(面部毛发)，but it grew on me.
57）The shovel was a ground-breaking invention. (破土动工的；开创性的；)
58）My leaf blower(吹叶机) doesn’t work, it just sucks.
59）A plateau(高原；平稳期；发展停滞期) is the highest form of flattery.
60）He makes apocalypse(启示；大灾) puns like there’s no tomorrow.
#英语##学英语##我们一起学英语##每日英语##英语思维##语言魅力##语言差异##笑话##今日笑话##幽默##搞笑幽默趣闻##搞笑##娱乐##搞笑故事##高中英语##初中英语##成人英语##故事##一词多义##英语##学英语##我们一起学英语##每日英语##英语思维##语言魅力##幽默##搞笑幽默##搞笑幽默趣闻##搞笑##娱乐##搞笑故事##故事##初中英语##高中英语##大学英语##成人英语##幽默##搞笑##娱乐##笑话# #高中英语##英语##学英语##我们一起学英语##每日英语##笑话##幽默##搞笑###
每日金句打卡：
Everyone has a sea. If he doesn’t set sail, no one will help him with it. After a long time, there will be a dead sea left. Everyone has a dream in his heart. If he does not realize it, no one will achieve it for him. Everyone has a flower in his heart. If he doesn't water it, no one will make it bloom and give off fragrance for him. After a long time, his heart will be full of desolation.Start with your own heart every day, face the sun, and smile at life.
每个人都有一片海，自己不扬帆，没人帮你启航，久了就是一片死海，每个人心中都有一个梦，自己不去实现，没人替你绽放，久了心中就没了寄托，每个人心中都有一朵花，自己不浇水，没人帮你芳香，久了心中就会充满荒凉。每天从自己的心开始，面向阳光，笑对人生。#英语# #高中英语#
Ben，with his sister Amy，left the city to see his grandparents on their farm．They four had a good time together．One day，grandpa gave Ben a slingshot to play with out in the woods．He was excited and practiced for some time．But he couldn't hit anything．
Getting a little sad，he came back for dinner．Suddenly，he saw his grandma's duck．Without thinking，he held up the slingshot，hitting the duck in the head and killing it．He hurried to hide the dead duck in the woodpile，only to see his sister watching!But Amy said nothing．
After lunch the next day，grandma said，"Amy，help me with the dishes．"
But Amy said，"Grandma，Ben told me he wanted to help in the kitchen．"Then she whispered to Ben，" Remember the duck？"So Ben did the dishes．
Later that day，grandpa asked if the children wanted to ride horses，and grandma said，"I'm sorry but I need Amy to help me make supper．"
Amy just smiled and said，"Well，that's all right because Ben told me he wanted to help you．"She whispered again，"Remember the duck？"So Amy went to ride horses and Ben stayed behind to help make supper．
After several days of doing both his chores and Amy's，Ben finally couldn't stand it any more．He went to his grandma and said that he had killed the duck．
Grandma smiled．"Sweetheart，I know，"said grandma．"You see，your grandpa and I saw the whole thing at the window that day，but because we love you，we forgave you．We just waited to find out when you would tell us what you did．"
本和他的妹妹艾米离开了城市，去农场看望他的祖父母。 他们四个人在一起玩得很开心。 有一天，爷爷给了本一把弹弓让他在树林里玩。 他很兴奋，练习了一段时间。 但他什么也打不到。
他有点伤心，回来吃晚饭。 突然，他看到了奶奶的鸭子。 他想都没想，就举起弹弓，打中了鸭子的头，把它打死了。 他急忙把死鸭子藏在柴堆里，却看见他的妹妹在看! 但艾米什么也没说。
第二天午饭后，奶奶说:“艾米，帮我洗碗。”
但是艾米说:“奶奶，本告诉我他想在厨房帮忙。” 然后她小声对本说:“还记得那只鸭子吗? 于是本洗了碗。
那天晚些时候，爷爷问孩子们想不想骑马，奶奶说:“很抱歉，我需要艾米帮我做晚饭。”
艾米只是笑着说:“好吧，没关系，因为本告诉我他想帮助你。” 她又低声说:“记得那只鸭子吗? 于是艾米去骑马了，本留下来帮忙做晚饭。
在做了几天他和艾米的家务后，本终于受不了了。 他去找奶奶，说他杀了鸭子。
奶奶笑了。 “亲爱的,我知道,”奶奶说。 “你看，那天我和你爷爷在窗口看到了这一切，但因为我们爱你，我们原谅了你。 我们只是等着看你什么时候会告诉我们你做了什么。”
Two new Vocabulary words of the day!!
2/26/22
Live ~ Live
1. Live ~ v. (rhymes with give) is a verb that means to be alive, to find a way to subsist, to engage with life in a certain way, to survive, to exist in a certain location. Related words are lives, lived, living. The word live is derived from the Old English word, lifian, which means to be alive.
Live ~ adj. (rhymes with Hive) is an adjective that means to be alive or to be happening right now. For instance, a television program may be taped and broadcast later or it may be broadcast as it is happening, live. The adjective live is also used to describe an explosive that has not been detonated or an electrical wire that is connected to a source of power. The word live has been in use since the 1600s and is an abbreviation of the word, alive. The word lives is the plural of the word life.
The verb live means remain alive. i.e. If you hope to live until you're 100, start eating vegetables. When live rhymes with give, it's a verb that has to do with existing — being or staying alive, or making your home in a particular place, like when you say, "I live on the planet Earth for the time being." When live rhymes with hive, it is an entirely different word with a very similar meaning, an adjective that means "not dead", or "living". So you could describe your two pet fish by saying, "The one on the left, floating upside down, is the dead fish, and the one on the right is the live fish."
1... (a) His friends live comfortably in a nice neighborhood. (b) Bianca lives in China with her family. (c) The doctor said that this operation will help you to live for many more years.
2... (a) I want to come to China and I want go to a live performance of the Peking opera with Dee. (b) When you flip the switch and the light comes on, it is a live electrical circuit. (c) I have lots of live animals that live in my yard, waiting for Mr. Pete to come feed them.
Here’s one footnote to GEICO’s 2002 earnings that underscores the need for insurers to do business with only the strongest of reinsurers. In 1981-1983, the managers then running GEICO decided to try their hand at writing commercial umbrella and product liability insurance. The risks seemed modest: the company took in only $3,051,000 from this line and used almost all of it – $2,979,000 – to buy reinsurance in order to limit its losses. GEICO was left with a paltry $72,000 as compensation for the minor portion of the risk that it retained. But this small bite of the apple was more than enough to make the experience memorable. GEICO’s losses from this venture now total a breathtaking $94.1 million or about 130,000% of the net premium it received. Of the total loss, uncollectable receivables from deadbeat reinsurers account for no less than $90.3 million (including $19 million charged in 2002). So much for “cheap” reinsurance.
‘Challenging’: Prince William says walking behind Queen’s coffin reminded him of Princess Diana
威廉王子：护送女王灵柩让我想起参加母亲戴安娜丧礼那一刻
Prince William has told well-wishers that walking behind the late Queen’s coffin during a procession in London on Wednesday had brought back memories of his mother’s funeral. The newly created Prince of Wales and wife, Catherine, the Princess of Wales, shook hands and spoke to mourners gathered at the family’s Norfolk estate, where about 100,000 people have left tributes at the gates to Sandringham House since news of the monarch’s death last week.
英国威廉王子最近表示，走在女王伊丽莎白二世灵柩后面，勾起他痛苦的回忆，让他想起十几岁时参加母亲戴安娜王妃丧礼的那一刻。现在封号为威尔斯亲王的威廉在妻子凯特陪同下，和诺福克家族庄园的哀悼者们握手交谈，自从上周女王去世以来，约有10万人在桑德林汉姆宫的大门口悼念。
来自悉尼先驱晨报（Sydney Morning Herald）
戴安娜王妃（Diana Spencer，1961年7月1日-1997年8月31日），1961年7月1日出生于英国诺福克，是爱德华斯宾塞伯爵的小女儿，姓氏戴安娜·弗兰西斯·斯宾塞，1981年7月29日与威尔士亲王查尔斯结婚。
她是查尔斯三世还是亲王时的第一任妻子，亦是威廉王子和哈里王子的亲生母亲。1987年6月，戴安娜将她所拍卖的79件服装所得350万英镑，全部捐给慈善事业。她的品行深深地感动了普通人，尤其是苦难之中的人们。1996年8月28日解除婚约，1997年因车祸死于法国巴黎。
2019年6月1日，为纪念戴安娜王妃，巴黎市政府计划将以戴安娜命名广场。 2021年7月1日威廉、哈里两位王子为纪念母亲戴安娜王妃在肯辛顿宫建设雕像。
coffin
英 [ˈkɒfɪn] 美 [ˈkɔːfɪn]
n. 棺材
vt. 把（尸体）装入棺材；收殓
A coffin is a box in which a dead body is buried or cremated. 棺材
well-wisher
英 [ˈwel wɪʃə(r)] 美 [ˈwel wɪʃər]
n. 祝福者；支持者
Well-wishers are people who hope that a particular person or thing will be successful, and who show this by their behaviour. 表示良好祝愿的人
The main street was lined with well-wishers.
大街两旁站满了祝愿的人们。
mourner
英 [ˈmɔːnə(r)] 美 [ˈmɔːrnər]
n. 哀悼者；悲伤者；送葬者；忏悔者
A mourner is a person who attends a funeral, especially as a relative or friend of the dead person. 送葬者; 哀悼者
Weeks after his death, mourners still gather outside the house.
他死后几个星期，哀悼者仍然聚集在屋外。
tribute 颂词，称赞；悼念；（表示敬意的）
词根记忆：tribute（给予）+e→贡品
Tributes to the dead leader have been received from all around the world.
世界各地的人们向这位已故的领袖表示哀悼。
In a Japanese town of Otsuchi, a white telephone booth sites in a garden on top of a hill overlooking the ocean. The phoneboorh , which has become known as the Phone of the Wind, serves a surprising purpose: it helps deal with grief.
The booth was built by a 70 year old garden designer. In 2010, he installed the phone as a way to speak to his cousin who had passed away from cancer. Although the phone is disconnectedd, the old man felt as if it allowed him to connect with his late relative. He said: due to my thoughts couldn't conveyed by a normal line, I wanted them to be carried with wind.
In 2011, a tsunami hit northeastern Japan and left around 16,000 people dead. To help the many people who had lost family members or friends in the disaster, he decided to open his telephone booth to the public. The phone gave people a chance to say all the things they never got a chance to say to their loved ones. Since then, the telephone booth has helped countless people deal with loss.
The phone could not connect people to the after life, but it can help them open up. Losing a loved one is incredibly difficult., especially when it's sudden. An important part of the grieving process is expressing your feelings. Bottling up your sadness can make it harder to overcome a loss.
The phone of the wind gives people a private space to speak their thoughts and find closure
在日本小城Otsuchi，有一座白色电话亭坐落在一个山顶花园里，花园一面靠海。这座电话亭不同寻常，能够帮助人们治愈心灵伤痛。
风之电话亭由一位70岁的园艺设计师建筑，2010年，老人在自己花园里安装了这个电话亭，作为自己跟癌症去世的侄子聊天的方式，电话亭虽然没有接线，老人仿佛跟亲人取得了联系，他说：我的想法无法通过普通电话线传递，就让它通过风带给侄子。
2011年，日本东北部遭到海啸袭击，一万六千人突然被夺取生命，为了帮助海啸中失去亲友的同乡，老人将电话亭捐献对大众开放，以便借助风之电话亭，让他们有机会跟失去的亲人说说话，从那以后，电话亭帮助无数人表达对亲人的思念。
风之电话亭无法接通来生，但能够帮助人们倾吐心声。失去家人是非常痛苦的，尤其灾难突然降临，使人很难一时接受。平复伤痛，需要表达情感，把埋在心里的悲伤说出来。风之电话亭提供了一个私密空间，使伤痛的心灵找到解脱。
The Ukrainian military in the besieged city of Mariupol will fight as long as they have to, although the situation is difficult.
The relevant statement was made by Azov Regiment Deputy Commander Captain Sviatoslav Palamar in an interview with Reuters, an Ukrinform correspondent reports.
“As long as we’re here and holding the defense... the city is not theirs,” Palamar said.
In his words, Russia’s offensive tactics in Mariupol is constantly changing.
“The tactic (now) is like a medieval siege. We’re encircled, they are no longer throwing lots of forces to break our defensive line. They’re conducting air strikes,” Palamar told.
Palamar refused to give precise details about operations, because they could help the enemy. He would not say how much food and ammunition they had left, but that they still had hundreds of fighters.
“Of course our resources aren’t infinite, and they are running lower with every passing day of intense fighting. The situation is difficult, but we’re going to battle and fight for as long as we have to,” Palamar noted.
He said they had more than 500 wounded fighters, some in serious condition.
“We don’t have the conditions to treat them, to carry out really difficult surgery.. Medicine is running out, bandages and food and water,” Palamar added.
In his words, hundreds of civilians are also staying within the Azovstal plant.
“We bring them (civilians) food and check on their health, but we can’t stay with them for obvious reasons: the enemy could stage a provocation and say that...We were hiding behind civilians,” Palamar explained.
According to Palamar, once the civilians are out, the wounded and the dead should be taken back to Ukraine, and safe passage secured for the Ukrainian contingent there.
Meanwhile, the Ukrainian military do not consider an option of being taken prisoner.
#专家说很担心第3只金钱豹生存状态#
#瞒豹真是吃了豹子胆#
此类事件在国外几十年前早有先例。请看：
A puma at large
Pumas are large, cat-like animals which are found in America. When reports came into London Zoo that a wild puma had been spotted forty-five miles south of London, they were not taken seriously. However, as the evidence began to accumulate, experts from the Zoo felt obliged to investigate, for the descriptions given by people who claimed to have seen the puma were extraordinarily similar.
The hunt for the puma began in a small village where a woman picking blackberries saw 'a large cat' only five yards away from her. It immediately ran away when she saw it, and experts confirmed that a puma will not attack a human being unless it is cornered. The search proved difficult, for the puma was often observed at one place in the morning and at another place twenty miles away in the evening. Wherever it went, it left behind it a trail of dead deer and small animals like rabbits. Paw prints were seen in a number of places and puma fur was found clinging to bushes. Several people complained of "cat-like noises' at night and a businessman on a fishing trip saw the puma up a tree. The experts were now fully convinced that the animal was a puma, but where had it come from? As no pumas had been reported missing from any zoo in the country, this one must have been in the possession of a private collector and somehow managed to escape. The hunt went on for several weeks, but the puma was not caught.
It is disturbing to think that a dangerous wild animal is still at large in the quiet countryside.
This the last rose of summer,
这一朵，夏日的最后玫瑰，
left blooming alone,
独自绽放着，
All her lovely companions,
昨日可爱的同伴们，
are faded and gone,
今天都已凋落逝去，
No flower of her kindred,
身边再无盛放的亲人，
no rosebud is nigh,
亦无待放的蓓蕾，
To reflect back her blushes,
快乐着她的快乐，
and give sigh for sigh,
悲伤着她的悲伤，
I'll not leave thee,
于此，我久久伫立，
thou lone one,
只为让你不再孤单着，
to pine on the stem,
顾影自怜，
Since the lovely are sleeping,
看她们早已入眠，
go sleep thou with them,
你也早该与她们同眠的，
Thus kindly I scatter,
让我轻轻为你撒瓣，
thy leaves o'er the bed,
铺缀那张花床，
Where thy mates of the garden,
美丽的花床，你旧日的朋友，
lie scentless and dead,
清香已尽，无声安躺，
So soon may I follow,
快了，就让我们一同凋谢，
when friendships decay,
当世间的情谊已成灰，
And from love's shining circle,
昔日熠熠的爱情之戒，
the gems drop away,
宝石已黯淡无光，
When true hearts lie withered,
当真挚的心凋谢枯萎，
and fond ones are flown,
深爱的人远走高飞，
Oh who would inhabit,
呜！这荒凉的世间，
this bleak world alone?
一个人，如何安放，
Oh who would inhabit,
呜！这荒凉的世间，
This bleak world alone,
一个人，如何安放。
Pilgrimage To Konka Risumgongba, Holy Mountain Of Buddhists(31)
In Tibetan Buddhism, besides Twenty-four Holy Places, there are also Eight Great Places for the Dead located in mountains where high-ranked lamas would go at a certain stage of their practice. And considered to be the realms of invisible daksa and dakinis who support the practice of initiates, those thirty-two place are said to have been hallowed by Buddha with his emanations in the form of Chakrasamvara and conclave of deities. One of the eight places for the dead is Qias Cremation named Qias Hell by the indigenes. The whole valley was now shrouded with thick mist as we were approaching it along a dangerous path with an abyss on the left. Our horseboys were keeping on praying with their hats on the chests and threw stones into the abyss continually. We did not realized something until a sinister cliff had suddenly appeared in the floating haze just above our heads as if it had been about to crush us. We had no sooner felt thrilling than it disappeared in the mist. At 6:30 pm, we entered a rhododendron forest and camped at Duojieyiza cattlepen (4,100m).